really

strange enough, i'm now still wide awake even after suffering from a serious lack of sleep, largely due to the most unfortunate arrangement; duty on a much deserved long weekend break.

i don't give a damn about weekends, really. i don't even deserve it in the first place, since i've failed my swimming test yet again, and again, and again. it's like climbing a flight of really steep stairs and you come crashing down from it, ending up bruised and all. matters get worse when you have friends who have accomplished this great feat and they encourage you to get there quickly, before you die from all the injuries.

i don't give a fuck about the injuries, really. the worst part of this scenario is; disappointment. i've let down my friends who believed that i could accomplish this task, but yet again, and again, and again, i've let them down. i do appreciate their encouragement, but their words, it's all becoming oblivious to me. at this point in time, it only surmonts to the mental pain i'm suffering inside.

it's depressing, really.