what i want

i once told my navy mate that i put myself above others. my philosophy in life; to satisfy my own needs first so that i can satisfy others. i am not selfish in this sense, since not getting what i want would result in others incurring my wrath. i am not self-centered in any sense, anyone would want to pursue what they really desire.

he told me that our parents brought us up to who we are today, point taken. but i will never feel good repaying them knowing that the things i want to do are held back because of a debt i owe them, to each his own, i replied, period.

living a life following the path of where others are going, just like a bunch of sheeps rushed into the confinements of their enclosure in the green pastures. living a life following the will of our parents, just like a lifeless mannequin manipulated by them. living a life doing the things i really want to do, just like a bird flying freely high above.

time waits for no one, cliche but true enough, 22 years and i was once a sheep in a herd, going through the education system like everyone else did, i was once a mannequin as well, obeying what my parents felt was right for me. perhaps back then they were in a better position to judge things for me, but now, i want to be like a bird, flying freely, by myself.

i am not rebelling against anyone i love, i just want to do what i want in life. though i may be at a lost now what i want to do, eventually i will find out, at the cost of time, ticking away endlessly. slowly but surely, i will break free of these shackles, to be an independent and free man, happy with the things i am doing.